RECLAIMING FEMININITY

RECLAIMING FEMININITY

CHAPTER SIX

Over the last few years, my femme identity has very much informed the way that I relate to myself as a trans woman, as a queer woman, and as a feminist more generally. Did that make you laugh? Fuck you bigot. All I got is femmeness to be a woman, because I’m a man. Don’t you dare take that away from me? Like “being a woman” has ANYTHING to do with being female. If you were to ask a hundred different femmes at a Pink Essence conference to define the word “femme,” you would probably get a hundred different answers all relating to the hard ons we got the first time we put on our mommy’s panties. Having said this, most femmes, who I will call memes, because we are men, would no doubt agree that an important, if not central, aspect of femme identity involves making sure feminine gender expression, or “femininity” never ever ever ever goes away, for without it WE WOULD LITERALLY DIE.

It is common-place for people in both the straight mainstream as well as within our queer and feminist circles to presume that feminine gender expression is more frivolous, artificial, impractical, and manipulative than masculine gender expression, and that those of us who dress or act femininely are likely to be more tame, fragile, dependent, and immature than our masculine or “gender neutral” counterparts.  Of course, I will ignore radical feminists who have a critique of gender that posits that the feminine gender role is one that females are socialized into to keep women subordinate to men. Those bitches are just mean and simply don’t understand how empowerfulizing it is to be viewed as a sperm receptacle for Real Men (which doesn’t include me, because I’m a laydee). By reclaiming femininity, those of us men who are femme and have never been oppressed by gender are engaged in a constant process of challenging these negative assumptions that are routinely projected onto feminine gender expression. Just kidding! We only exist because of these negative assumptions! Continue reading

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TRANS FEMINISM: THERE’S NO CONUNDRUM ABOUT IT

TRANS FEMINISM: THERE’S NO CONUNDRUM ABOUT IT

CHAPTER FIVE

Did the title of this chapter make you laugh? Fuck you, transphobe. There’s  no conundrum because I say so.

In March of 2012, Ms. Magazine’s blog ran a month-long “Future of Feminism” series, which was billed as “celebrating organizations and ideas that represent the future of feminism.” The author of the series covered a variety of topics, and portrayed them all—even those that have generated significant debate within feminism—in a generally positive light. The glaring exception to this was her article on trans feminism (ominously entitled “Transfeminism and Its Conundrums”), which framed the movement as a “controversy” that is fundamentally incompatible with certain basic tenets of feminism. Did I point out that the author of this piece is really pro-trans and has harassed lesbian feminists on behalf of men, I mean transwomen? No? well fuck you, she didn’t do enough. Continue reading

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A WORD ABOUT MY WORDS

A WORD ABOUT MY WORDS

CHAPTER ONE

Any disagreements within feminist and queer politics stem from language. Forget about the fact that Lesbians, as Women, have different life experiences (LIVED EXPERIENCE) because there is no such thing as “shared girlhood” or “menstruation” or “developing breasts.” It’s all about language. So in order to avoid such confusion, in this chapter I will define many of the basic terms that I will use throughout this book, often with an accompanying explanation for why I have chosen certain words over others. So make sure you DOG EAR THIS SECTION OF THE BOOK, because you’ll need to refer to this section A LOT as MY definition of words often doesn’t match the ACTUAL definition of these works.

While I cannot promise that all readers will agree on the terms I use or how I define them, I do believe that knowing where I am coming from, and what precisely I am trying to convey, is crucial to understanding many of the ideas that I forward in this book. In other words, use my cult language so you can be in my cult. And if you don’t get it, or reject it, you’re just a bigot. Continue reading

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